新手应该学哪门编程语言？

在某个论坛上看到有人在问——“Which programming language should I learn first？”，看到了下面的这个回答，有点意思。

Depends.

To program in an expressive and powerful language: Python

To get a website up quickly: PHP

To mingle with programmers who call themselves “rockstars”: Ruby.

To really learn to program: C.

To achieve enlightenment: Scheme.

To feel depressed: SQL

To drop a chromosome: Microsoft Visual Basic

To get a guaranteed, mediocre, but well paying job writing financial applications in a cubicle under fluorescent lights: Java.

To do the same thing with certifications and letters after your name: C#

To achieve a magical sense of childlike wonder that you have a hard time differentiating from megalomania: Objective C

I could go on… but I’m not feeling hateful enough today.

翻译如下：

看你的需要了。

如果你想找一门表达力和功能都很强的语言：Python

如果你想更快速地开发WEB程序：PHP

如果你想和那些“摇滚明星”的程序员为伍：Ruby

如果你想学真正的编程：C

如果你想顿入空门的话：Scheme

如果你想压抑的话：SQL

如果你想基因突变成为非人类的话：Microsoft Visual Basic

如果你想要得到一个有保证的，但普普通通的，收入还不错的，在一间小卧室的荧光灯下写一些金融应用的工作：Java

如果你想在你的名字后放上一些认证和证书：C#

如果你想得到一些很难在自大狂和孩子气中区分的那种魔幻般的感觉：Objective C

我还可以再写去，因为今天我还没有足够的愤怒。